And you don't even want a relationship? Who cares now, it's done. Hope your friend never finds out. I just could not go anywhere near any ex of my friends, it's a line that you don't cross but that's just me and that's what I think. Originally Posted by Balthazar. Balt, if you have to question the ethics of this, you have to ask yourself why this HAD to happen. It wasn't just the spirit of the moment or go with the flow.
There is way too much history here for this to ever have been a good idea. Even if there was no Peter, to sleep with a good friend who thinks there may be a possibility for a RL is a bad idea. Throw in Peter, and you have a big mess.
Yes, I think you made a mistake. At this point it is probably best to make sure Mary knows where you stand so she is not being led on. I wouldn't say anything to Peter, and hopefully he won't find out. My personal feeling about dating ex's is that time needs to pass and the dust needs to settle. Also, before doing it, you should perhaps talk it over with the male friend first.
Wow, this just seems like a lot of possible drama, and you're not even interested in a relationship.
Hopefully this one will pass without too much angst. Well, I did ask for your opinions on this matter, and I did get them First off, I didn't want to "bone" Mary while she was married to Peter. In fact, I didn't really even see her as being "female", she was just a very good friend.
It may sound weird, I know, but men who have had really good female friends can attest to this. Concerning what TBF said, it actually was a "go with the flow" sort of thing.
Nothing was planned or organized. In fact, I didn't have a condom with me, otherwise it may well have happened on the first night. There was attraction between us and it did. I can't take it back now. One poster commented that I didn't even let the body cool Surely that is not "jumping right in As for not wanting a relationship What is the problem with that?
I am not sure Mary wants one either. What I do know is that she is alone while Peter has already gone on with his life. Again, I don't feel completely Ok with this When we were talking about what happened, May made it clear she was a free woman, a woman who had been left by her husband.
Her concern was not whether we were being ethical, it was whether we could remain friends afterwards Anyway, what I am contemplating now is telling Peter what happened. Yet, I feel that I may be doing more harm than good. I mean, if there is even a remote chance of them getting back together, wouldn't I be driving a last nail into the coffin? But it wasn't a go with the flow, in that there should have been reasons to stop it, such as your friendship with her STXH and also, her friendship. Does friendship not mean a lot to you?
Originally Posted by Trialbyfire. Don't ask you ex for advice unless she is a subject matter expert, like a tax lawyer.
Don't ask her for advice on who to date, she obliviously has bad taste in her own mind, so why should you trust her advice now? Heilage , Jan 12, Aug 14, Location: Aug 19, Location: It really depends on your past and present relationship with your ex-wife, the circumstances of your divorce, and the kind of people the three of you are. Jul 24, Location: Dec 14, Location: Really though, even if they're not friends anymore or merely acquaintences now, it's just not going to lead to anything but drama.
Now, if the two of you are deeply in love and need to pursue this, I'd say maybe.
Unfortunately I don't think that's the case. Lastly, what robbie said. Mar 24, Location: Bemalte Blumen duften nicht. Although it'll most likely be "dating my ex-wife's ex-friend" shortly. GoCubsGo , Jan 12, But there are other factors, do you have children because if you do then making sure you have a decent relationship with the mother is important.
Otherwise, it's entirely up to you. I figure it douchy but douchy doesn't mean it's entirely wrong. Jan 7, Location: Oct 8, Location: Maybe he's smoking hot, and way out of his league. If that's the case, I'd be all over it. Not to mention, maybe his ex doesn't care if her friend wants her EX-baggage.
Mar 22, Location: You must log in or sign up to post here. Your name or email address: Does this mean you should never, ever date a friend's ex? It means that it's a bad idea, but that's not the same as "never do it. It's possible that you've got an uncommon romance on your hands. Maybe this is your future wife, or muse, or whatever it is that you're looking for. If this is the case, you'd be missing out on years of potential passion if you passed up on this girl for the sake of sparing your friends' feelings.
Like I said, this is a tough one. You've got a hell of a decision to make. Accordingly, you should treat this like any other important decision, which is to say that you should get as much information as possible. First, be real with yourself. Is this girl really special to you? Is there actually an uncommon reaction between you — some sort of deep compatibility that's worth alienating your friend for? Or is she just an attractive person who finds you attractive, too?
Those two things are so, so easily confused. Approach these questions with the maximum possible skepticism about yourself. If you feel fluttery every time you talk to a pretty girl, keep that in mind. If you're currently lonely and you really need to get laid, consider that maybe you're just desperate. And dwell on the fact that some of your excitement might just come from the taboo nature of this potential relationship, because, like everyone else, you want what's off-limits.
If I were a betting man, I'd bet that your crush on this girl is just like any other crush. It's a fun illusion, which, if pursued, might reveal a great relationship, or might not. Odds are, that's what this is, in which case you should probably just sigh, move on, and hit up your online dating site of choice, where you can find lots of other crush-worthy women. I found out about this the hard way, in a similar situation. Tom, one of my childhood friends, was always kind of bummed out, until he met Josie, a fast-talking, high-energy woman who brought him out of his shell.
They had a sparkling relationship — they were one of those couples that just radiated warm, gooey, nauseating passion — and I was super envious of it.